Wagon? I don't see no stinking wagon!

I have fallen off the healthier life style wagon. I have not written down the foods I have consumed since Wendy and I last weighed. I have let too many hours pass between meals so that I am ravenous and shaky with low blood sugar. I have not walked around the lake or danced Bollywood style either. I have chosen to eat candy, ice cream and fish and chips.

I should also share that I have been struggling with great sadness. My Great Aunt Dorothy passed away after Thanksgiving. She was the last of that generation. My Uncle Ed passed away last month. He is the first of his siblings to pass. These losses have stirred in me the emotions I have surrounding other losses I have not come to terms with.

While I have read about people being emotional eaters, and I assumed I was/am one too, I have come to realize I use food like some use alcohol and drugs. I know just the right combination of carbs and fat to ingest to get the desired physical high. Without the physical effects of my food-chemistry, these emotions have been much sharper and more painful. I am not practiced at feeling them at this intensity level. I cry at the drop of a hat and bite the heads off my family with little provocation. The old man at the gas station that pulled up to the gas pump I was pulling up to got the dirtiest look and it was all I could do not to tell him of his ill conceived birth and questionable parentage. Who knows what the neighbor boys were thinking when they skateboarded by as I was raking the leaves and sobbing.

I will post this and go for a walk, and probably a good cry. Maybe I should don one of Roger's old ratty fishing sweatshirts and my hunters hat so that I look like a scruffy mumbling street person. The crying would then be in character. It is that or eat more peanut M&Ms.
Amy

Physics is not my strong suit...

but it is Amy's. We weighed on Sunday at the beach. Each of us are down 4 pounds now. Woo hoo. And I always wonder where this weight goes, like shouldn't it mess with the universe and the rotation of the earth? So once again, I asked Amy to explain this to me. Have it on camera, well, audio, to refer back to. We both recognize the need for more exercise; this last week it was not in the mix at all. Started the week on a good note, a brisk lovely walk at the beach in Westport. Sun shining, only sweatshirts needed. Wish I was still at the beach! Happy Monday, here's the science lesson:

Who is texting me at 7am????

OMG!! There are donuts in the staff room! It is Wed. and my defenses are set for Friday. -Amy

RESIST -Wendy

Or have a bite and chew 25 times to enjoy it but notice how you feel you probably wont finish- Wendy

Chewing that many times, never mind. I will resist. Now I want to have Mom meet me in Tacoma tonight to weigh.-Amy

Welcome to the group we work on a 12 step program yes you only get to weigh yourself 12 times a day- Wendy

Only 12 min more and I will have students and I will not be able to leave the room thus sequestering myself from the dangerous donuts.- Amy

My Colon Loves Me

Last week I made a conscious choice to 1) eat foods that I have in the house, 2) reduce cost of food by choosing filling stuff, and 3) get more fiber. The fiber only went on the list after I read the label of my bag of pinto beans.

HOLY LEGUME. Best that I write that and not COW as I broke up with beef.

1/4 cup dried pinto beans provides only 60 calories and 14 grams of dietary fiber. 56% of your daily fiber if consuming 2000 calories.

Felt great, lots of energy, knew I was treating my body good.

Caught a bit of Oprah's show last week. Alicia Silverstone talking about her new book on eating. Flipped channels, came back to it and heard Alicia say something to the effect of your pooh is so much better when you eat veggies and fiber. And Oprah commenting about the "S" shape of pooh with Dr Oz and sometimes she is so impressed with her #2s that she wants to show friends...

I can relate.